2/27/2006

Tupperware Of The Ancients

Early-morning conversation with my friend Rachel, via AIM. Important note: Rachel believes herself to be having a torrid and passionate love affair with Yriel's Flagship. Not Yriel, mind you; the Flagship itself.

Me: So now I'm working on my Iyanden army.
Me: Painting, as you could have guessed.
Rachel: your iyanden army
Rachel: has this been hammerBlogged?
Me: Indeed.
Rachel: that's a lot of models
Me: Oddly, the Iyanden army has a relatively low model count.
Me: Most of the models are quite pricey.
Me: I mean in terms of their points allocation, which is the "currency" you use to build your army with, so to speak.
Rachel: ah. of course.
Me: See, what happens is, the Iyanden don't have a whole lot of people to use in their armies, so they grab the souls of their dead ancestors and stuff them into robot constructs and make them go do their fighting. It's not a particularly good retirement plan if you think about it.
Me: But whaddaya gonna do? They had an invasion of bugs that pretty much killed everything. That'll happen when you leave food on the counter overnight or don't wipe up water when it spills.
Rachel: yes, that would suck.
Rachel: here you are, safely across the river styx, hoping to settle in for a nice game of backgammon with Achilles,
Rachel: and before you know it you're called out to some grimy battlefield again. Jeez.
Me: Well, the problem is that the Eldar can't go to the afterworld because there's an evil god waiting for the Eldar to arrive and eat their souls, so instead when an Eldar dies its soul goes in a tupperware container.
Rachel: they had tupperware?
Rachel: pretty advanced civilization.
Me: These guys are millions of years old. Of course they had tupperware.
Me: But not primitive tupperware, as you know it.
Rachel: ohhhh
Rachel: they had UltraWare
Rachel: Five-dimensional tupperware
Me: I suppose that's how you'd say it in your crude language.
Rachel: I do what I can with what I have
Me: Our limited minds can barely contain the concept of tupperware as the Eldar know it. For instance, can you imagine tupperware that doesn't make a fart sound? Seems impossible, right? Unnatural? Well, the Eldar have harnessed the true nature of Tupperware and rendered it silent. And they stick their souls in there.
Rachel: wow.
Rachel: soul-containing, non-farting Tupperware.
Rachel: the mind reels.
Me: I know. Hard to imagine that, but there's a lot of knowledge beyond what we can understand at this point in our evolution.
Me: It also comes in several colors.
Rachel: are those colours perceptible by our limited human retinas?
Me: Oh sure. I mean, they were once like us eons ago.
Rachel: oh wow. so they don't see ultraviolet or infrared?
Me: Ultraviolet and infrared are irrelevant to the Eldar.
Rachel: they've transcended those concepts?
Me: If they can make tupperware that doesn't fart, do you think they care about that other stuff?
Rachel: good point well made
Me: Incidentally, it's Iyanden that was the original home of Yriel's Flagship. Just FYI.
Rachel: oh wow
Rachel: can I go there?
Me: Not if you're going to keep asking all these stupid questions about ultraviolet and infrared spectrums, no.
Rachel: alas.

3 comments:

Rachel said...

How can you mock my love for Y's F?

Bastard.

Quint'Aan said...

HIlarious!

Johanna said...

LOL that was really funny, man, I wonder when we will invent some of that non-farting tupperware...?