Orks Vs. Eldar (NSFW)

(A recent MSN chat with Nick. So wrong on so many levels. Don't read it if you're sensitive to nasty talk)

Corey: I got my forgeworld avatar
Nick: well, it doesn't surprise me that an Eldar model would be concerned about the condition of his nails.....they're so.....metrosexual
Corey: Say what you want. That's the Avatar who will be picking chunks of your Ork army out from between his molars.
Nick: bah...he's nothing but a lesser Bloodthirster
Corey: Seriously? There's a reason that the Eldar have an advantage over Orks, though. It's fluff-based: Apparently the Eldar discovered certain artifacts and items long ago which gave them a certain evolutionary options that the Orks just don't have.
Corey: I believe one of those items was soap. Another was toilet paper.
Nick: tough words from a dying race
Nick: did the Eldar use soap and toilet paper to create Slaanesh?
Nick: and besides, Orks HAVE toilet paper, they call them snotlings and grots
Corey: I'll get to that in a minute. First... got a joke for you.
Corey: What did the Ork get on his IQ test?
Nick: waaaaaghn? (one)
Corey: No.
Nick: ok, what?
Corey: Saliva.
Nick: what did the Eldar get on his AIDS test?
Nick: positive
Nick: sorry, I had to some up with something
Corey: The only reason the Eldar got AIDS is because some sick pervert of an Eldar somewhere along the line had sex with a monkey
Corey: Or, as you know him, your Warboss.
Nick:well, he must have been on the recieving end of that exchange, the ass never gives the prick AIDS
Nick: Corey doens't like the highway, he takes teh dirt road
Corey: Oh, we're going personal with this now, huh?
Nick: YOU STARTED IT
Corey: I just insult Orks. I don't insult you. But seeing as you gave me permission...Reminds me of the story about how the doctor told you that he needed a stool sample, a feces sample and a urine sample... and you just gave him a pair of your underwear.
Nick: "needed a stool sample, a feces sample " aren;t they the same thing?
Corey: Sorry. Urine, feces... I lose track. They're all just Ork troop choices to me.
Nick: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Nick: I wonder in how many years will all those abandoned and derelict Craftworlds will be crawling with urine and shit then?
Corey: Hmm. Kinda sounds like an Ork theme park.
Corey: Anyhow, I'm gonna post this chat in my blog.